POP QUIZ!

Once again, I firmly believe that Life will keep dealing out the lessons I need to learn until I have learned them...

...and even if I'm making progress, all of the sudden - POP QUIZ!

The progress I have made has had much to do with making a conscious decision to being present for my family, soulfully as well as physically. So for us I am so grateful that we decided to invest about $100 a month for a cleaning service so that P and I neither need to feel constantly drained from housekeeping (from when we actually do get down to business) nor do we need feel frustatingly anxious (from when we know we should, but we just don't have the energy to clean).

Even my involuntary sabbatical from physical yoga has provided me with more time and less stress, so this weekend my kids and I could enjoy being creative together at a Parent-Child Fantasy Painting Workshop. Talk about being able to spend some focused time with your kids! And I can only admit that even though I've always dreamed of being able to paint, I've been afraid to try since I don't know where to start and I have a habit of avoiding any activities I suck at. After 1½ hours, I didn't want to leave. I felt so incredibly free.

My "Control My Fuse Campaign" continues to move forward as well...well, at least where the kids are concerned. I still have to work on disarming the explosive buttons my husband has an uncanny ability of activating when my threshold is at its lowest. And other things: for example the cleaning service hadn't cleaned our house today since I had forgotten to leave a key, which of course is my bad. On the other hand, after apologizing emphatically for my mistake, it dawned on me: Why hadn't they called me on my cell? I was in town and could have driven back to the house. Irritation warning...disappointment growing....thoughts fixating....

A-ha! POP QUIZ!! How much time and energy do I plan on wasting while I obsess on about a stupid key and a missed cleaning day? On a scale of 1-10, are we even on the scale? How much is this irritation costing me emotionally; what other things have to step back so that I can fuel the flames as I vent internally? Oh, it's tough to break bad habits!

Then again, Life offers me hints, helps me along, you know, with the not-so-subtle sledgehammer method: Today I met with a colleague, a woman I've become well aquainted with over the past 7 years. She's in her early fifties, yet she looks ten years younger. She's slender, has great hair, and always looks gorgeous. I asked how things were, and she answered, "Not so good." And she then told me that in a few weeks she will be having a masectomy since finding a lump that turned out to be a malignant tumor.

So what exactly was it I had to bitch about? Instead, it's time for me to go sit with my kids who are presently laughing together as they watch Kung Fu Panda.