Saturday, February 28, 2009

A natural pick-me-up


This afternoon I did my practice and decided to focus on an area (OK, two areas) that I tend to overlook, or at least speed through: backbends and abs. So I hit the mat, and as usual it took about half-an-hour to find my flow; it ususally kicks in after my standing poses.


Since vulnerability in strength was my theme (that I'll be using tomorrow), I just kept moving, kept breathing, and focused mostly on my uddiyana bandha, the abdominal contraction that protects my back and keeps my prana contained.


What surprised me was the reminder that backbends are natural pick-me-ups. I actually enjoyed doing them! Enough that I did "wheel" twice!! I think the fact that I skipped my arm balances and instead did some extra core work was a wise choice.


I may love my yoga, so much so that I became an instructor, but I am the first to admit that I often have to drag myself to my mat. After this practice I actually found myself looking forward to the next time I can pull my mat out again.

Facebook fears


I have been thoroughly enjoying being on Facebook since my friend Gail invited me to join during the holidays. It's fun; it makes me laugh; and every now and then I even get inspired. It's up to me how much I want to observe. It's up to me how much I want to participate.


I was more of an observer back in high school. My part in the social circles was not so much me on the outside looking in; it was more like being in the periphery, without ever really making it inside the inner circle. Much of that depended on how I was/am as a person. In poker I like to play my hands tightly. At the gym I enjoy the classes where I feel I am able to perform well. At a restaurant I prefer ordering the same dish since I know I'll like it.


I am afraid of making the wrong choice. I am afraid of being the "intruder" who gets rejected. Most of all I am afraid of what people might think... When it comes to Facebook I realize that I should put previous assumptions about "belonging" aside, regardless of what the social order looked like 20+ years ago. This is ironically enough my theme for my yoga class tomorrow: empowering yourself enough so that you dare to expose your vunerable side.
Maybe Ganesh can help me remove my own inner obstacles?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I so need to develop my sense of non-attachment




One of the hardest priniciples for me to comprehend during my yoga instructor training was the concept of non-attachment. But the more aware I become of my feelings of stress, not only when associated to consumption, but rather in my ongoing struggle to have total control over finances and the hypothetical "rainy day" scenario, the more I realize that I need to find some inner peace so that I can chill and stop losing sleep. I have everything I need as it is, but I suppose my fear of losing all that is what is freaking me out...

I subscribe to Yoga Journal's newsletter. This week's theme came at just the right time. Here's an excerpt about non-attachment since change ultimately is inevitable. Accept these principles, and one is to be able to find freedom within:

The Five Remembrances I like this version of the Buddha's Five Remembrances, offered by Thich Nhat Hanh in The Plum Village Chanting Book (Parallax Press, 1991).


  • I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.


  • I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.


  • I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.


  • All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.


  • My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

Frank Jude Boccio (http://www.judekaruna.net/) is the author of Mindfulness Yoga. He teaches yoga in New Paltz, New York, and leads Mindfulness Yoga sessions throughout North America

Like my yoga teacher says (with a fake Indian accent): "Yes, we trryyy."

Namasté

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Coffee with milk, pastries, and cancer

My friend's battle with cancer has been ongoing since December 2006. I might not have noticed if I didn't know he was ill, considering he has always kept up his cheery disposition and positive outlook on life.

That has all changed drastically, which I witnessed when I went to visit him for the first time after his failed attempt at surgery. Now he can add a failed attempt at chemotherapy to his list of "treaments". He had undergone chemo twice previously, and each time the most serious side effect was weariness. Last week after one session of chemo he ended up vomitting so violently the same afternoon that he was admitted to the hospital where he stayed for 5 days.

He told me right off the bat that he was not well. Not even after having had 80% of his liver removed did he ever say that he was not well. He didn't feel like having coffee, but as a token of friendship he poured himself half a cup. A nibble of the pastry I brought was all he could manage. I decided right off the bat to talk about all the ordinary things we usually talked about. I realized how much I miss talking to him.

When I left my thoughts were in a blur. If I feel this way now, how am I going to feel later on? When is "later on" going to occur?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Blogger's block

Some days there's just not much to say. Today is one of those days, the first Monday after winter vacation. Even the weather seemed to sense that the kids' vacation was over as the snowy wonderland we had all last week switched over to sleet, slush, and rain.

Yesterday's yoga class was exciting, although I always feel nervous, even afterwards. What a rush it was to see 8 women stand on their hands. If you've never tried yoga, you might not understand how cool that is, but just take my word for it.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

No date - pajamas on at 6 P.M. instead

The babysitter got sick, so our triannual date has had to be postponed. And I was so looking forward to eating a gyrospizza alone with my man...

Instead we are in the bedroom - I've got my laptop and fleece pajamas while hubby is watching the trotter races on TV. The kids have been playing Singstar, but seemed to have gone over to Lego Star Wars.

All in all it has been a good day. I had a great time teaching a Body Balance class to 20 delightful ladies in our new yoga studio. By the third song I was as sweaty as could be; the atmosphere was fun, and I think everyone was enjoying themselves. Tomorrow I am really going to feel it in my thighs and abs!

When I got home we got our stuff together and headed out to the woods to grill hotdogs. The grill coals were in hibernation, but with some super hyperventilating from my husband they eventually caught fire, and we could eat. A couple of kids from down the street joined us, and when we were done eating the kids embarked in a friendly snowball fight (They are SO much nicer than we ever were as kids - Thank God for that!).

What better way to top it off than with a take-away pizza from the local pizzeria? Maybe next Saturday we'll get to go on our date instead.

Tomorrow - big yoga day - 3 classes, nervous teacher...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Boredom, not need, is the mother of invention

My kids have winter vacation this week. Today my 9-year-old daughter got to go to the movies while my 5-year-old son spent the afternoon watching "Toy Story" on the VCR.

Now we are in the middle of a "medial vacuum" since both the TV and computer are off limits until "Let's Dance" begins in an hour.

My son is the master of finding old, forgotten toys to keep himself occupied. After a while my daughter, who has taken refuge in her room to draw and color, notices he's having fun and asks if she can try (It's some cheapo plastic toy you can shoot a small plastic ball from).

Happy to have found a companion, my 5-year-old lets her join in. Because of their age difference it's not always easy for them to play together, but right now I am thoroughly enjoying listening to their laughter...

...even if it's because they're shooting their plastic projectiles over kitty's head. Since Mr. Meow, though, hasn't moved from his spot on the easy chair, the commotion doesn't seem to be causing him any dismay.

At best it will last a minute or two more, but it was nice while it lasted.