Friday, October 22, 2010

Overwhelmed and obligated


I've written it before, that I prefer blogging when things are good as opposed to when things suck. My blog voice is many times influenced by my "silent" voice, you know, the quiet, introspective, wise one that (all too) often gets to play second-fiddle to my tempramentsfull, control-freak, hamster-spinning-incessantly-in-her-wheel side.

But here I am, alone at Arlanda airport in Stockholm. I have enough time to just sit at Wayne's Coffee café in Sky City and reflect. Because here's the thing: I'm in Stockholm to yoga all weekend. I'm sitting at a café with a huge, delicious latte. I'm wearing warm clothes and a knitted scart I got as a for-no-special-reason gift from a great girlfriend. I talked earlier to my loving husband and could hear my adorable son in the background. I got a text message from my daughter wishing me a good weekend.

When things are going this good for me, while there is at the same time so much need and suffering elsewhere in the world, the very least I can do must be to pause long enough to show my gratitude and appreciation?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Speechless


Funny, my mind is cluttered with endless thoughts. Constant bombardment, 24-7 actually.

Yet I can't seem to express them. Heck, I can't even identify them. Thus, I can't make any sense of them.

Maybe it's kind of a defense mechanism? To prevent overload.

Or have I short-circuited? God, I hope not...

It's surrealistic. My senses are in tact, yet it's as though I've "left the building". I'm aware that I'm observing, and I enjoy reading what others are up to with great interest, but I don't feel I have much to contribute for the moment.

I think I miss this blog, but I'm not sure if I really miss it, or if I think I should be missing it. The same goes for FB; before I had so much I wanted to share, but now...

I know I'm giving my thoughts too much power. They're only THOUGHTS after all. Still, there's a few hefty, pending issues that are monopolizing my mind. It's only temporary, I know. And hopefully some clarity will shine on through soon, too.

So I'm going to allow myself to continue carrying on in my quiet numbness for the time being.