I've been following Vimmelmamman and her battle with cancer, which oddly enough is pretty much identical to my friend's. Tonight I read about the recent discovery of new tumors and the doctor's decision to cease with her chemotherapy. A death sentence at the age of 40. My heart goes out to her and her husband and young son who is the same age as my son. I understood completely her wishes for her son's future that she will probably not partake in, all the way down to the warm snowsuit and decent winter boots.
I took a walk shortly afterwards (My guilty conscience after our lazy Saturday got the better of me.). I decided to walk through the cemetery since I love the sound of water in the fountains combined with birdsong in the trees. Spring is showing more and more of itself with budding tulips and blossoming daffodils everywhere. I love the peacefulness and tranquility of this place as well as its beauty. It makes me feel like the afterlife can't be that bad; certainly I won't be alone. I thought about where I hope to be buried - the same plot as my mother-in-law, since my husband has already stated his wishes to be buried there. I find it comforting. Comforting and sorrowful at the same time knowing that all this (arms extended in a circular fashion) is non-constant, finite.
I try not to ask myself too often why certain (i.e. bad) things happen to certain (i.e. good) people. I try to accept that there are no guarantees. I hope that I will be spared personal tragedies. I reminded myself as I walked and inhaled the cool, fresh spring air that my life is happening NOW. My life is charmed. The images surrounding me could very well be published on a postcard.
Now it's time to stop taking so much for granted.
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