I'm the bitch. The nagging mother and wife who can't be satisfied. The martyr who makes a point of letting her family know how it feels to lead her martyred, pitiful, and thankless life.
OK - maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but today I felt like the world's worst mother. Instead of embracing my loved ones and showering them with my compassion I was on their case about unpacked schoolbags and pajamas on the floor like a fly on s***. I felt like a complete bitch. I wanted to cry, but instead I swallowed my tears so that they formed a rockhard clump that chiseled itself in my stomach for the rest of the day.
Had I been more yogic, I would have allowed myself to feel what I was feeling. I would have opened my heart so that I could heal the hurt.
But I didn't want to be yogic today. I wanted to beat the crap out of something. I wanted loud music to drown out the whining in my head. So I went to my savior Carina's class, and she kicked my a**. After 15 minutes I was thinking, OMG - another 45 to go?
But I made it. Drenched in sweat with muscles that are going to barely allow me to walk this weekend I could finally breathe again...
...And returned home so that I could once again be the mom I want to be.
Du vet, du är bäst. Glöm inte det. Alla männsikor behöver lite ordning å reda. Det är din uppgift som förälder att dra gränser och se till att familjens regeler efterlevs. Det är ju bara så. Ibland så blir det mer gnat än genomtänkta ord, men det måste få vara ok det med. Du visar barnen att du är mänsklig, inget fel med det.
ReplyDeleteFörresten så var du jätteduktig idag, jag tror att du kommer att ha träningsvärk imorgon. Kram och gladpåsk