Yet another week between entries. And despite these longer intervals between writing I have yet to uncover or offer any new personal reflections. In fact, when I finally landed in my hotel room for an hour long break (before heading out again into the freezing cold for dinner with my boss and coworkers), I immediately knew that I would use this fractional timeframe to open my blog and just write whatever popped into my head - whatever I felt like writing.
And being the natural born goodie-two-shoe that I am I naturally had an almost immediate reaction as though I would be doing something daredevilish, like a true renegade, because we all know that we shouldn't be so egotistical, right? It seems that just admitting to having an ego is something that induces a cringing effect in those "others" we so hopelessly aim to please. Throughout life a lot of girls, who had a traditional Catholic upbringing like me, have within their psyche the feeling that if we're just good enough souls, then maybe we will be worthy of love and above all, approval. And within yogic philosophy: anything that distinguishes you from everything and everyone else causes separateness, desire, and pain.
And then there's little 'ole me, sitting alone in the an old, yet comfortable armchair, still wearing my hat and with my feet up on the table, in a quiet room laced with the slightly musty odor signifying the somewhat rundown state of this hotel, can't help but feel (selfishly) satisfied for these ever so fortunate circumstances - to be ALONE, to hear the QUIET, and have the OPPORTUNITY TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO, without having to take everyone else into consideration - and all I can wonder is, "Is it really so bad to just take care of one's self for a while?"
Or is solitude simply a modern day sin? I vote not.
Not bad - necessary! I think :)
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