From optimism to confusion - from anxiety to responsibility - and then some sushi...

That pretty much sums up my week, the first week of 2010. During the first few days I was wrought with jetlag, but at least I was still off from work and surfing on the post-buzz of having spent our Christmas vacation in Florida. So basically I went around in a dazed state of feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. However, the fog in my mind slowly started to thicken after a couple of days, and fatigue started to set in. Random thoughts flashing like lightning bolts began ricocheting through my brain, neither giving me a chance to decipher them nor comprehend any type of coherence.

On Monday it was time to return to work mode, still I was lucky enough to not have to take any business trips. Plus, Wednesday was a holiday. Yet at this point my mind was thick and sticky like syrup, and I felt like I was trapped in one of those dreams where you have to run but you can't move your legs. I felt completely drained. I tried to meditate, but my thoughts, albeit distant, stilled bounced around without offering the least bit of insight. When it was time to go to bed, I had a hard time falling asleep and an even harder time getting up in the morning.

Of course it could very well be that I was still experiencing the aftermath of my jetlag. This being the coldest winter in years wasn't helping. I used to enjoy the contrasts of the seasons, and while I found the winter wonderland-scape to be beautiful, if given a choice between that and the warmth of Southern Florida - well, it would be a no-brainer at this point! What got to me today, though, was that I just couldn't come up with a theme or figure out what kind of yoga class I should put together for this afternoon's class. I surfed the Internet in search of inspiration and ended up pulling out my old notebooks in the hopes of discovering that perfect, a-ha idea.

Nada... In the end I toyed with the idea of repeating an earlier theme, and while I was in the car driving to the gym my ego pleaded with me to ask my group if we could just repeat the flow class from New Year's Eve; I could just explain to them that I was low on energy and just wanted to yoga with them. When we gathered for the introduction of today's class, I immediately rejected that idea. As a teacher, my students rely on me to offer them food for thought and help them on their journeys. As a teacher, I must put my students first, and most often their positive attitude and dedication both energizes and inspires me. (God, they were fantastic tonight!) So after class I ended up rolling out my mat in order to do some yoga on my own in a last attempt to get myself back on track.

Halfway through my flow I received a spur of the moment text message from my husband and laughed out loud as I read the words: "Treat yourself to some sushi." It made me remember that I am loved. And suddenly continuing on wasn't so difficult. Afterwards I heeded his words and enjoyed Kalmar's best sushi and miso soup before returning home.