One of the many things Facebook offers is the opportunity to speak your mind and let others know how you feel. Among my Swedish friends the opinion barometer is much like the Scandinavian temperament - stabile. My American friends, however, are more polarized than I ever imagined possible. For one who finds herself constantly contemplating the balance between truthfullness and diplomacy, I am, to say the least, challenged on pretty much a daily basis.
Case in point: Someone writes in her status box that she supports same-sex marriage. Among the comments a friend writes that he, too, supports same-sex marriage, but he feels that its legality should be decided by state government. Yet another friend questions the previous comment, wondering why all individuals can't be treated equally? The reason, according to the first friend, is that laws should be defined by the people of the state and examples such as laws banning father-daughter marriages as well as sibling marriages are used to support this argument.
I happen to belong to the category of people who believe in allowing two, consenting adults to enter marriage regardless if they are hetero-, homo-, or bisexual. I didn't add my own comment, but I was tempted to write something to the friend who believed that state governments should decide who gets to marry whom, something like: Then if I understand you correctly, you wouldn't have anything against not being able to marry your wife, should you happen to live in a state that banned heterosexual marriage?
But instead I got to thinking about WHY I wanted to write something? What was my true intention? A person who is against same-sex marriage is hardly likely to get me to change my view, so I'm assuming that the same goes for him as well. What's the point of beating a dead horse? On the other hand, maybe by letting people know my point of view, it would be possible to sway opinion enough in the direction towards change?
Maybe by speaking out I am being egotistical? Or is it perhaps by remaining silent I am simply a coward?
What would the Buddha have done?
Silence is golden when you need TIME to think. Silence is deadening when it stops a discussion. Perhaps your friend has never considered how he would feel if his type of marriage was illegal. As long as you are adding to the discussion, not just beating a dead horse, speak your mind.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I need a little silence in my world and could stand to do a better job of judging the importance of the various arguments into which I enter.
And I've been delightfully surprised at the depth and breadth of some of the discussions I've had on Facebook. And pleasantly surprised to find that people I haven't contacted in 25 years are still on the same page as me. Or maybe they're just keeping mum and preserving my illusions. ;-)
@Alexa: Amazing. Thank you so much for your profound comment. I cherished every word of it. Thank you!!
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