Saunas & icebergs

Lots of thoughts today. Easy to make a short story looooooong.

Around 4 P.M. today I was really getting cranky. I needed to get out but couldn't decide what to do. Got in the car as it started to rain. As I got closer to town I decided to drive to the community sauna that was open for ladies until 5 P.M. I hadn't been there for years. In my absentmindedness I made two wrong turns, and honestly, 45 minutes isn't really much time to spend at the sauna. Screw it, I thought, I'm going anyway. I had to.

Parked the car and got out. The wind had picked up, and the choppy water was hitting the rocks as the rain peltered me with its small, cold drops. Something about being that close to nature's elements does something to me. Just as lowering myself, naked, into the 43 degree (F) water has a profound effect on how I feel about myself in relation to my enviroment. The contrast of heat from the wood burning furnance to the numbing effect of the water, me being stripped of not only my clothes but my ego as well, well, that might make you think I become extremely selfconscious and nervous.

But the truth is that quite the opposite occurs; I sense an overwhelming feeling of oneness with my surroundings. I'm still reading my Happy Yoga and have reached the part that discusses the need to rid ourselves of our identities and the duality that follows in order to realize that we and everything around us is God. Pretty deep stuff and not that easy to grasp much less realize. But when I go the sauna, that is exactly how I feel.

After the sauna I went to practice some yoga. Spent some time in child's pose as I didn't know where to begin or what I should focus on. With the lights dimmed, I surrended my mind as well. I chose to mix it all up and just accept each moment for what it was. I used an iceberg as a symbol. I pictured the enormous mass below the surface that melts into the earth. I imagined the atmosphere surrounding the peak above the surface, representing lightness and breath. I enjoyed each element the moment I was there and let go of it just as quickly when I got to the next. I executed my forward folds almost effortlessly, which is not something I am used to.

When I was on my way home, I contemplated my need to consider my husband as being part of my oneness; then maybe I wouldn't be so quick to judge him. As I walked towards the front door, I noticed in the darkness that once again he hadn't thought to turn on the outdoors light for me. That's OK, I thought, I'll just try to ask him as nicely as possible to do that some other time.

When I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by a table set with my dinner and (can you believe it?) candlelight.