Today I received an e-mail from the father of a young patient I met this past summer. His 19-year old son is dying from a brain tumor. When I was contacted by their consultant I managed to book in a wheelchair fitting just a couple of days afterwards.
When faced with a case like this, I feel utterly compelled to GET IT RIGHT. There are no second chances. If I manage to utilize my knowledge within my field to in any way ease this family's burden, then there is for me no greater satisfaction professionally. Equally important, however, is getting past the anguish attached to the gruesome combination of youth, cancer, and dying.
Very simply, I wanted to relay to them every ounce of empathy I could offer without becoming overbearingly sympathetic. I wanted to share with them my feelings of compassion without violating their integrity. Most of all, I wanted them to feel that they neither were on display nor were they to be shunned for having drawn the shortest straw imaginable...
The fitting went well. The tone was open yet unemotional. We focused on the problem at hand and worked our way towards finding a solution. They were able to leave the same afternoon with the wheelchair I had brought. At that time I had no idea how much time remained.
He's still alive. The father had sent the e-mail to thank me and to share with me a few ideas he had about our product. Overall they were still very satisfied with their wheelchair which gladdened me.
But now comes the tough part. I have been racking my brains trying to figure out how to respond to his e-mail, which really warmed my heart, without sounding either pompous or pathetic. Yet I want it to be honest.
So I started by hugging my kids a few extra times tonight. All day and all evening I had tried writing a reply in my head to no avail. That's when I decided to share this on my blog. And once again, just going through my thoughts and putting words to them seems to have freed the words I needed. The ones I believe (and hope) will appropriately answer sum up how I truly feel:
I am happy that the chair is working out for you, but most of all I hope YOU AND YOUR FAMILY are doing as well as possible.
Why is it so hard to be human sometimes?
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