Hold that thought, one moment please...

In my mind I've written probably 25 blog entries this week. On the computer - nada. I thought I could put off putting my thoughts down for just one more night, but I couldn't. Thought bubbles bounce around inside my head like some twisted bubble machine at the prom-from-bubblehell. As soon as I think I'm able to complete a thought, and thereby solidify it, it crashes into another and *POP* - it's gone. About as easy to grasp as one's shadow.

My initial reaction is to shut down mentally as to avoid a meltdown. I think actually that that can be a pretty good strategy to start with, but what happens is that the fabric that holds my everday life together quickly starts to fringe. I told my husband last night that the only thing that I can honestly say that we've succeeded in doing this week has been taking care of the kids so that they got food on the table, clean clothes to wear, and were taken wherever it was they were supposed to be. Everything else: cleaning, exercising, personal "piffing", and just plain "sit down and converse for God's sake, us being married and all", took a back seat and was replaced by constant fighting to stay awake until the kids got to bed.

At this point I could just say, "Screw it," and not give a damn. But luckily being unproductive is for my wellbeing super-counterproductive; basically, it really gets on my nerves. I become pretty irritable, yes-siree-bob. It's not like I even feel like escaping on some exotic vacation. I just want to get my groove back, at least to some degree. If I could just get things started, make a little progress, then maybe the activity in my brain could translate into actual energy.

So yesterday I started off by doing laundry and making cowboy soup. Today I meditated before breakfast, and later on I took a long walk with my daughter (wearing my MBTs for the first time this year). Afterwards I popped my favorite yoga dvd in our portable player for a short but sweet mat session. Did some more laundry. Put together a jigsaw puzzle with my daughter. Put fresh sheets on our bed.

And while this week's setbacks may have been due to a major hormonal imbalance that has finally started to release its grip, for whatever reason I can gratefully say that I am finally not-so-exhausted-that-I-think-I-could-faint, at least for the moment.

I was even able to complete an entire entry now...for real.