Status report

I can't freakin' believe it's been 4 weeks since my last entry.

To be honest, I already have an entry in progress ("What I Believe"), but I can't freakin' figure out what to write.

And my thumb hurts...

That said, I'm feeling absolutely pathetic. My half-severed thumb (OK, grandiose exaggeration) is what I went to sleep thinking about last night. It was my first thought this morning. I have spent every freakin', waking moment incessantly thinking about it today. And I guarantee it will be my final thought before sleep blesses me with merciful reprieve.

Because that's what pain does. It takes over and takes no prisoners as it kicks your a**. It penetrates your psyche as it clouds your mental abilities, making you feel as though you've been cursed with a voodoo doll (complete with accompanying needles).

Simultaneously I find myself feeling so incredibly frustrated. Last year, when I turned 40, I was still recovering from knee surgery and longing for my mat. Last week I turned 41, and I joyfully went to my first Zumba class. Afterwards I swore that from now on, I would get back into including more cardio to my workout schedule. I was both excited and eager to get started (once again) with my "new" life!

And now that's all on hold. All because of a piece of thumbnail no larger than half a dime.

I'm not so self-centered as to not understand that my "trauma" is about as serious as running out of milk. I know that my life is still as rich and rewarding regardless of potential dangers lurking in silverware drawers. Yoga isn't about the physical practice. I get the message that radio station P3 is relaying with their 6-day "Music Help" sit in to raise money in the battle against child trafficking, which puts my petty ails in perspective.

I think sometimes that practicing equanimity (steadiness of the mind) simply means going with the flow, with neither too much thought nor attention. And I realize that in a couple of weeks, I will (yet again) be able to pick up where I left off. That is, until I hit my next speed bump...