Decision time. A job offer that could take me to the next notch on my career ladder. Added responsibilities. But what about the salary?
The original offer was more than I have today, but still so much lower what I expected. My counterbid was swiftly rejected. Another offer was made, somewhat higher than the first, but still far off base.
What to do? Job offers don't grow on trees now, do they? Openings through the corporate ceiling aren't easy to come by either. I was given the weekend to decide whether to accept or decline.
So I sat down to meditate yesterday. I decided to inquire within, and as though I were practicing a mantra I repeated in my mind, "What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?" After a couple of minutes, my silence sternly responded, "SHUT UP & LISTEN!"
OK, point taken. Stop mauling and start chilling.
Today, I sat again in meditation, keenly set on listening. Somewhere in the depths of my skull I could here David Bowie's "Ziggy Stardust" playing (I had heard it on the radio the other day.). My silence asked me, "Who is your greatest enemy?"
My mind, always wanting to chip into the conversation was about to respond, "David Bowie", when my silence beat him/her to it by offering the following: FEAR & AMBIVALENCE.
OK, I thought. I didn't want to admit to my silence that I had a feeling I knew what ambivalence meant, but I still wasn't 100% sure. So I looked it up online afterwards:
am·biv·a·lence noun \am-ˈbi-və-lən(t)s\
Definition of AMBIVALENCE
1: simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action
2a : continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite) b : uncertainty as to which approach to follow
Point taken. Mind made up. No more fear. No more ambivalence.
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